with clumsy hands I sculpted a replica of your misshapen heart, but the image made it too real. I remember you telling me (though out of context) that your heart was messed up (and I agreed) as each beat traveled through my arm. We did share a heartbeat at one point. It always beat too quickly for the slow tides, and took its time on the coldest summer night I’ve ever felt - but my God, I realized you were a life. Sort of like the time I focused so hard on my breathing that i was suddenly far too aware of my existence. We were breathing so vividly; I could’ve painted our breath in every color but orange, because I’ve never felt empty enough for that color. Always filled myself with a packing peanut romance and malnourished lips. Go ahead - starve your frustration, but beware of an unforgiving hunger. these walking paradoxes, these kick-start catastrophes. there are too many moons and not enough moon rocks, too little earth and so much life - too many hands but none of them want to hold.